October 8, 2018

I have been procrastinating writing HARD lately. Honestly, because it feels vulnerable and I’m afraid to put myself out there in a way that has potential to be ridiculed. This fear is in direct contradiction though to what I feel I have learned with approaching a new decade, to give less fucks. I’m ready to throw caution to the wind and put my words to “paper”. I have started this blog post at least 3 times now from, 3 weeks into my 30’s, 6 weeks… ok, so over 2 months into my 30’s now…. I feel that I can finally accurately depict what they feel like.

I realize it’s just an age, an arbitrary number I claim to be but there legitimately felt like a mental transformation. The last month of my 20’s was spent going out, having fun, and, within reason, doing essentially anything I pleased. It’s likely that because of such a debaucherous month that I have a strong desire to mature and slow down to focus on my master plan. With 30, there appears to be a light and focus on an end goal, a purpose, or meaning. What’s the point of anything I do? Will it move me forward towards my goal? What the hell are my goals in the first place? A question I never even thought to ask myself until my friend brought it up on our way out to the airport after my ladies birthday camp trip. (We celebrated in many ways, which is worthy of an entirely separate post). My friend Deleigh asked for my 1, 5, & 10 year goals to write down and email to me later. 1 year, easy, make more money & become more financially secure as I pursue  charging more for my photography services, obtaining more commercial clients locally, and begin consulting other small businesses in marketing, social media management, & content creation. 5 year goal, required more thought… own another property to follow the path of my parents in managing and renting out properties, take only a few select weddings a year, and primarily be focused on training and managing employees of my future creative business consulting firm. 10 year goal… holy shit, will I even make it to 40? Similar to my feelings in high school looking at 30, this number feels so far away, seemingly unapproachable and unimaginable. It took me time to come up with an answer for this goal. I may not accurately remember this, but I believe my initial response was more of a gag reflex than anything. Deleigh followed up with me a couple days later to remind me that I didn’t give her an answer.

In 10 years… I imagine myself still self-employed and incredibly well diversified. I’d like to own multiple rental properties, ideally 5-7. I have a hard time imagining my passion for photography dying but my gigs will be far and few between as I only take on the projects, of various sorts, that inspire me as an artist. I truly love weddings and currently my favorites are the ones where I get to know the clients on a deeper level. Side story* I just arrived back from Seattle where I spent the entire weekend with the couple and their family. I stayed in the house where they and their siblings were staying and knew all of their immediate family members by name.* It’s not a matter of how much they want to spend on my craft but rather how much they appreciate it. I want to help small businesses grow, through proper consulting, strategic marketing, and appealing content creation. In 10 years, I’d like to be managing a small firm to make this happen. My career seemed to be my main focus in my response but there is a personal level as well… I do want kids and a life partner, be it a “husband” or not. It’s amazing how much of a stigma comes with the notion of a 30 year old woman that knows she wants a family. I’d rather approach the subject as, I’m a woman who knows what I want. I’m not in a rush, I will never settle, and friends, family, and career will come before any man until they can prove their worth. So this is 30, just trying to live my best life by kicking ass and taking no bullshit.

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